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I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, six should be enough.’

My mother-in-law’s so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked.

My mother-in-law said, ‘One day I will dance on your grave.’ I said ‘I hope you do; I will be buried at sea.’

I’ve just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law’s funeral. And she’s cancelled it.

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.

I can always tell when the mother in law’s coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.


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